May 2, 2012

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you

Pacific City, OR

I'm exhausted, my body aches, I'm worn out, our home is a complete disaster, and I've been in a somewhat sour mood. 
When I was in nursing school and found myself completely worn down, I recall being envious of my patients (how backwards & messed up is that!?). I wished that for just 24 hours I could trade places with them. I longed to just lay in bed, sleep & have food brought to me (yummy pie slices). As a nurse, I know that this is nowhere near to what happens when you are a patient. It is a rarity to get 1 hour of uninterrupted sleep in the hospital. However- I still wished that for just a day, I could give up all control, rest, and trust others to take care of me.  Crazy, I know...

Maybe it is the combination of working 12hr night shifts & switching back and forth all the time, or a busy few weeks with inconsistent schedules. Or... the horrid sunburn I got from the coast this weekend soaking up every bit of energy I have (I get really odd looks from patients & have to explain that its not contagious or anything as I'm holding their newborn- fun times). Whatever it is, I find myself struggling to turn to God & submit my worries, aches, negative thoughts, & tiredness to Him. I lay here in bed now waiting for the phone call to come into work as I was thankfully placed "on-call" for the night because of low census. Though I know I'll be called in before the night ends, I am grateful for the few extra hours I may have to just rest & re-center my mind & heart. 

I whole-heartidly believe that I can never turn away discouraged by God's word.  I will meditate on this simple verse tonight:

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. 
John 14:27


  1. Love ya sis. Keep praying that verse.

  2. I'm sorry you're having such a long week. I honestly thought the exact same thing (about being a patient in the hospital) during one particularly difficult semester when I was at GU--I just wanted/needed a break. I wanted something to force me to take some time out and not have to worry about deadlines and tests. But you are so right, during these difficult moments we need to just give it up to God and pray to be filled with His peace. Praying for you!


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